I have been feeling really conflicted about whether computing has been adding any meaning to my life. It is something that I have been reflecting on tremendously over the semester in order to see whether I should go on with IM or choose another path. I love coding in the short-term. It is both fun and challenging, and provides some sort of intellectual release from the immense amount of readings and essays I have to do for my other classes. However when I found myself doing the mid-term project, or the 2 hour lab sessions on Wednesday, something about it wasn’t entirely enjoyable. Of course, I realise that what you enjoy doing won’t always be fun. There will be challenging moments. However, the longer I take to code, the less patient I get. The more quickly I want the answers. This is something that has always been present in how I complete tasks. However it is especially present in coding. I believe this is because I don’t consider myself to have a strong skill-set in quantitative reasoning, which is why it can get challenging as I dedicate more and more time to my projects. Another reason is due to the fact that I tend to look for how my impact on a project can benefit others on the scale of the greater good. Of course it can be undeniably challenging to find benefits for the greater good in an introductory IM course, I can’t get all my answers immediately. It takes time, patience and effort to build an impact. I guess computing has revealed to me as to how impatient I am, and I think it has really helped me become more patient while doing my work. Something else that worries me about computing is sustainability, how can I be sustainable with my resources while computing? I have noticed that me and my other peers in class are quite unsustainable with the resources we use for our project sometimes, going through multiple cardboards and other materials before we get the right shape or structure. I haven’t found a solution to the issue of sustainability yet.
So, I know the what I have mentioned above makes me seem pretty uncertain about where I stand on IM and how it has added to my life, but regardless of my doubts about how IM could impact me in the future, it has offered me incredibly valuable lessons for the now. One that I have already mentioned above, it has taught me an incredible amount of patience. It has also helped me appreciate the little things rather than looking at the larger picture: the way we check sections of our code one by one as we complete it rather than editing once we completely finish writing the code like we usually do while writing an essay has helped me appreciate the small sections of a larger work more profoundly. It has helped me be more attentive to the smaller details. I have also found logic in code to be incredibly compelling. I am a huge fan of philosophy and the way constructs a rational, clear argument. Although I am nowhere near great at understanding logic of code, I tend to draw many parallels between computing and writing philosophical arguments, which have rational, logical steps to show a particular output. I find a lot of beauty in this parallel, and it helps me appreciate computing more. I have struggled quite a lot with computing, and am still struggling. Perhaps the struggle makes me feel uncertain as to where I stand, but undoubtedly, it has filled my life with wondrous reflections, useful lessons, and valuable insight as to who I am as a creative individual.